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Dealing with People’s Ugly, Annoying Attitudes

You’ve definitely been in a situation where someone important to you like your boss, girl, man, mom, etc is mad at you and lashes out you seemingly for no reason. And it ends up ruining your day. Or worse, their foul mood lasts for days and since you spend most of your time with them, you’re also infected with their toxic attitude. Or even worse, everyone you know seems to be like this and it’s becoming an annoying pattern in your life. Then you start thinking that maybe you are the problem. This can be really upsetting at best and depressing at worst.

But here’s the rub: you can never change these people! You can, however, learn how to deal with these circumstances through finesse so that you get what you want from people despite their ugly attitudes. The answer lies in understanding human nature and, of course, developing some thick skin. Let me explain.

There are a few among us who get by in life through ignoring people’s “negativity” and seem to go on with their lives happy. They’ve given up. This is not a solution. Some resort to gossiping, bitching about how their life sucks to friends, and drinking among other useless coping strategies that usually end up making things worse. Then there are those who try more socially acceptable ways such as reading self-help motivational books or listening to Joel Osteen Joyce Meyer sermons on self improvement. But they only feel rejuvenated energized strong powerful that evening then the next morning when they go to work and meet their vile boss or later that evening when they meet their emotional, manipulative girl, all those “positive attitudes” come crashing down.

Attorney general Njeru Githae in one Nation article says that self help books are useless. I agree with him, for the most part. If you’re planning on buying one of these books, CDs, etc or going for workshops or seminars let me save you time and money by telling you that the recurring theme in these books, sermons, seminars is “positive thinking”, which is misleading!

Objective thinking is a better strategy because it is more balanced and realistic. And this is why this country will forever be ruled by sociopaths who understand the human mind and use us as pawns in their power games. Yes. Life is all about power; power over self and others. I digress.

The reason positive thinking doesn’t work is most problems cannot be solved by simply ignoring them. Some can, like attention seeking trolls on twitter or Facebook, but most can’t. You need problem-specific solutions. That said, put away those inspirational books, CDs, tweets, Status Updates, etc and read up on human nature – psychology, sociology, marketing, etc – so that you understand why people do what they do and you will have power over them because you can only control that which you understand.

I guarantee you that through objective thinking you will find the solution your vile boss, nagging girl, overbearing friend etc. Either that or you will realize they have some unchangeable character defect or have been through some shit you can’t change and this, dear friend, can give you true peace. Serenity.

Think about this. If your DSTV signal is messed up or there’s a black out and you know it’s because of the heavy rain, you won’t bore people on twitter/fb with your ranting to the Kenya Power’s or DSTV’s Facebook or twitter accounts about how your paying a lot of money for a shitty services. You’ll just switch of the decoder and watch the rerun of the BBA shower hour later as you do something productive like writing a blog that helps people. The serenity prayer below summarizes the answer to all your problems.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

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Posted by on June 23, 2013 in Wisdom

 

50 Things to Give Up

Source: http://on.fb.me/16SlvZS

1. Give up trying to be perfect.
– The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done.

2. Give up comparing yourself to others.
– The only person you are competing against is yourself.

3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future.
– Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.

4. Give up complaining.
– Do something about it.

5. Give up holding grudges.
– Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

6. Give up waiting.
– What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.

7. Give up lying.
– In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes.
– The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

9. Give up saying, “I can’t.”
– As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”

10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone.
– Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small. Start now.

11. Give up thinking you’re not ready.
– Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

12. Give up setting small goals for yourself.
– Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.

13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself.
– You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.

14. Give up buying things you don’t need.
– Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.

15. Give up blaming others for your troubles.
– The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

16. Give up making mountains out of molehills.
– One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others.
– Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall into place.

18. Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality.
– There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society. For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.

19. Give up making promises you can’t keep.
– Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.

20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside.
– People are not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.

21. Give up beating around the bush.
– Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communicate effectively.

22. Give up avoiding change.
– However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

23. Give up your sense of entitlement.
– Nobody is entitled to anything in this world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. We get what we earn.

24. Give up waiting until the last minute.
– Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

25. Give up being dramatic.
– Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

26. Give up being anti-athletic.
– Get your body moving! Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program.

27. Give up junk food.
– You are what you eat.

28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment.
– Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.

29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish.
– Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t smoke. Etc.

30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down.
– Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and like minded.

31. Give up being shy.
– Network with people. Meet new people. Ask questions. Introduce yourself.

32. Give up worrying about what others think of you.
– Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.

33. Give up trying to control everything.
– Life is an unpredictable phenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next. So do your best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.

34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again.
– In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

35. Give up following the path of least resistance.
– Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t find the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

36. Give up persistent multi-tasking.
– Do one thing at a time and do it right.

37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you.
– The harder you work, the luckier you will become.

38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities.
– It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax. Breathe. Be.

39. Give up making emotional decisions.
– Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.

40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it.
– Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.

41. Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen.
– Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

42. Give up taking yourself so seriously.
– Few others do anyway. So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.

43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about.
– Life is too short for such nonsense. The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.

44. Give up thinking about the things you don’t have.
– Appreciate everything you do have. Many people aren’t so lucky.

45. Give up doubting others.
– People who are determined do remarkable things. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

46. Give up trying to fit in.
– Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.

47. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different.
– Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different. Once again, be yourself.

48. Give up trying to avoid risk.
– There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’ Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.

49. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner.
– Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

50. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market.
– Good looks attract the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That’s when you’re beautiful.

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2013 in Wisdom

 

Feeling God’s Presence

AwarenessTrying to understand God exclusively on the logical dimension is bound to be frustrating. I imagine it’s like trying to see the entire universe using a simple magnifying glass. Here’s the thing though: I’m not trying to understand Him entirely — I just want to feel His presence and be aware of Him.

This is how I see it:

To be aware of God, you have to silence your thoughts and feelings. True awareness of Him comes from transcending the mental and physical plane, and stepping into the spiritual plane. Zen Buddhists call this state of awareness Kensho or Satori; the highest state of realization and enlightenment where you are aware of everything because you are connected with everything. They achieve this state through hours of meditation.

As Christians, we achieve this state through hours of prayer and studying of the Bible, as well as worship. It is in this state that we say we are in true fellowship with God. We “feel” his presence because we ARE in His presence, spiritually.

I’ve never achieved this state. Only imagined it, which doesn’t work because you use your mind to imagine; and to feel God’s presence, you’re supposed to let go of your carnal mind and “see” and “hear” with your spirit. I have faith that I will at some point be able to achieve this state of fellowship with Him — true, genuine fellowship!

I emphasize “true fellowship” because I believe the subconscious, carnal mind can trick you into thinking you’re hearing God’s voice when you are, in fact, hearing yourself…your inner desires. It won’t always be easy telling which voice is mine and which one is God’s. I guess it takes some learning to be able to recognize His voice.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2013 in Wisdom

 

Looking Ahead

The beginning of this year has proven to be better than last year’s, by a stretch.

To begin with, I’m actually writing, as opposed to last year when I was in less favorable circumstances. I thank God for that. I’m not kidding myself though. There’s always the possibility of things going f*ck all, and I need to stay sharp so sh*t doesn’t get out of hand, like it did the last time.

I’ve made and lost friends in between, and I have no doubt that I will make and lose more friends in the coming months.

I would start the next sentence with “but the most important thing is that…” but I honestly can’t think of anything to add to that statement. I’m alive, yes, but there’s more to life than simply breathing. Don’t get it twisted, though. I am not complaining. Most of the things that matter seem to be going well: family, health, and money (well, sorta!). And there’s always my relationship with God; that’s another long post, though.

Do I look forward to a great year ahead? I don’t know. What I do know is I will try my best to apply what I learnt from a heights and rock-bottoms of the past year. I saw someone tweet something along the lines of “at any moment, our only duty is to stay alive and alert and conscious and to do what we know to be right. The rest is God’s work.” Need I say more? I know what is right for me, and while I can’t guarantee that I will always think or act in the right direction, I know I will always try.

Life is not a straight line and two guys may make the exact same moves and get different results. Or maybe I’m just trying to excuse or justify myself in advance. Only God knows!

In the meantime, faith is that righteous insanity that has my divine plans never stalling as long as I’m running on He that is everything good.

Till next time.

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2013 in Wisdom

 

Escape

Don’t fall for the lies.

Struggling souls crawling out of the abyss see a different reality. For them, there’s no winning when it comes to fighting your demons; there’s only surviving…for the lucky few.

Here’s the good news though:

In the grand scheme of things, this is only a half truth. There’s a way out. It’s called surrender. Not to the dark forces. But to a Power greater than all evil influences put together.

Let God take over.

Here’s the not so good news:

It’s easier said than done.

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2012 in Wisdom

 

Hard Times Never Last, but Genuine Relationships Do!

We all go through hard times. Some of us go through rougher patches than some guys would ever imagine.

It’s always been said that God can’t put us through the fire knowing that we’ll be consumed with the heat; that, within adversity, He plants the seed of opportunity. That may very well be so, but sometimes the pressure feels as though it’s too much, and you wanna give up! There’s no doubt about how hard it is to hold on to faith, but with the help of family, friends and God, even the seemingly weak among us, indeed, manage to pull through.

It’s true what they say: friendship can be that feeble flame that fritters away at the first sign of a storm. Friend come and go, and when things get rough, your professed ‘best friends’ scatter faster than you can spell vamoose. Even so, the truth is that there are still good people out there who will stand by your side when the mud hits the fan. This could be someone you’ve known your whole life or a Good Samaritan who pops out of the wood work.

Needless to say, the shittiest circumstances are the best measure of real friendships!

As steadfast as genuine friends may be, they can’t really take the place of family. Sure enough, there are guys in your life that you consider ‘blood’ despite their not being kith and kin; but I’m not referring to family in the figurative sense. I’m talking about relatives—your pops, mom, bro and sis among other folks. Naturally, mothers hold a special place that needs an entire post to elaborate. When all’s said and done, family will always come through in one way or another.

The family bond goes both ways. Always stay true to your peoples; regardless of the depth of muck they’re in!

As expected, God plays the ultimate role in guiding your path. It is true that the atheist finds God in a foxhole. Unfortunately, that’s also where the enemy catches up with believers. Question everything…but God! I bet you’ve had times when you thought you were alone in the dark abyss—a time when you were about to give up the ghost—but somehow you found the strength to crawl out. That was Him! It’s easy to relish in your awesome intelligence but, in truth, all your insight comes from He who is the Source of Infinite Wisdom.

Take heart!

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13.

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2012 in Wisdom

 

Free Verse I Wrote

First and fore, let me take a second to give a token word to wise who talk and word after word of inspirational thoughts flow flawlessly forth down to the third generation and fourth.

When it comes to spoken word I’ll admit that I’m a beginner but I’m still big in a way best understood by letting your mind dance and sway to the words that I say. Pleasure for me is when my lips shape a form of the ideas that I express in the spoken word that I perform.

Rhyming words is easy; easier than rhyming thoughts. It’s easy to twist and turn words with acrobatic ease but telling a story that compels a passer-by to freeze in their step needs the mind of a literary whizz. How do you use words that ooze charm that moves the audience from deep within?

My spoken word is the kind of modest truth that does not like to be naked; it always comes in a fancy dress!

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Wisdom