You’ve definitely been in a situation where someone important to you like your boss, girl, man, mom, etc is mad at you and lashes out you seemingly for no reason. And it ends up ruining your day. Or worse, their foul mood lasts for days and since you spend most of your time with them, you’re also infected with their toxic attitude. Or even worse, everyone you know seems to be like this and it’s becoming an annoying pattern in your life. Then you start thinking that maybe you are the problem. This can be really upsetting at best and depressing at worst.
But here’s the rub: you can never change these people! You can, however, learn how to deal with these circumstances through finesse so that you get what you want from people despite their ugly attitudes. The answer lies in understanding human nature and, of course, developing some thick skin. Let me explain.
There are a few among us who get by in life through ignoring people’s “negativity” and seem to go on with their lives happy. They’ve given up. This is not a solution. Some resort to gossiping, bitching about how their life sucks to friends, and drinking among other useless coping strategies that usually end up making things worse. Then there are those who try more socially acceptable ways such as reading self-help motivational books or listening to Joel Osteen Joyce Meyer sermons on self improvement. But they only feel rejuvenated energized strong powerful that evening then the next morning when they go to work and meet their vile boss or later that evening when they meet their emotional, manipulative girl, all those “positive attitudes” come crashing down.
Attorney general Njeru Githae in one Nation article says that self help books are useless. I agree with him, for the most part. If you’re planning on buying one of these books, CDs, etc or going for workshops or seminars let me save you time and money by telling you that the recurring theme in these books, sermons, seminars is “positive thinking”, which is misleading!
Objective thinking is a better strategy because it is more balanced and realistic. And this is why this country will forever be ruled by sociopaths who understand the human mind and use us as pawns in their power games. Yes. Life is all about power; power over self and others. I digress.
The reason positive thinking doesn’t work is most problems cannot be solved by simply ignoring them. Some can, like attention seeking trolls on twitter or Facebook, but most can’t. You need problem-specific solutions. That said, put away those inspirational books, CDs, tweets, Status Updates, etc and read up on human nature – psychology, sociology, marketing, etc – so that you understand why people do what they do and you will have power over them because you can only control that which you understand.
I guarantee you that through objective thinking you will find the solution your vile boss, nagging girl, overbearing friend etc. Either that or you will realize they have some unchangeable character defect or have been through some shit you can’t change and this, dear friend, can give you true peace. Serenity.
Think about this. If your DSTV signal is messed up or there’s a black out and you know it’s because of the heavy rain, you won’t bore people on twitter/fb with your ranting to the Kenya Power’s or DSTV’s Facebook or twitter accounts about how your paying a lot of money for a shitty services. You’ll just switch of the decoder and watch the rerun of the BBA shower hour later as you do something productive like writing a blog that helps people. The serenity prayer below summarizes the answer to all your problems.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”